


Transient

by kameo_chan



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst and Humor, Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-19
Updated: 2012-03-19
Packaged: 2017-11-02 05:30:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/365469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kameo_chan/pseuds/kameo_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People pass through his life like the falling of leaves, and the only thing Fai can do is watch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Transient

He's there the day Kurogane blows out his last breath. Fai looks at the man on the futon in front of him and feels ancient, like the gigantic sakura tree standing sentinel in Shirasagi castle's courtyard. Tomoyo is there, and so are the others; even Syaoran and Mokona. Only Sakura chan is absent, but that, Fai knows, can't be helped. Kurogane looks peaceful, he thinks. There are heavy streaks of silver at his temples and a multitude of faint crows' feet at the corners of his eyes, but other than that, Kurogane looks much the same as that fateful day long years ago when they'd met for the first time. 

His own appearance is still much the same as ever, mostly unchanged and unaffected by the passage of time. Vampirism and wizardry are powerful factors in keeping the deterioration of human flesh at bay. He has perhaps aged by a year or two at most. It's unnerving really, especially when he takes into account that Syaoran is no longer his ward, but his peer, and has been for many years now. There is no trace of boyhood left in him, his features having hardened by adulthood; his charm tempered by his handsomeness. Tomoyo herself has blossomed into a graciously beautiful woman, wise beyond her years and dimension. 

Fai takes comfort though in the fact that Mokona, at least, is still Mokona. The little creature is still as bubbly and vibrant as ever, though right now its ears droop in sorrow and its tiny face is scrunched up in an effort not to cry. It is Mokona's way of paying respect to Kurogane, he knows. The old curmudgeon wouldn't have wanted “the damn manjuu” to cry at his death. 

“Fai-san,” Tomoyo says, and Fai is shaken from his reverie. She nods at him solemnly, before picking Mokona up and taking Syaoran by the hand to lead them out of the room. The others, Souma and Amaterasu-sama included, also retreat, leaving Fai with nothing more than his thoughts and Kurogane's lifeless form. Fai bends over, traces a finger along the strong jaw, and thinks of days long gone. 

\-----

The water is cool and welcome as they splash about in the small pool at the foot of a quaint little waterfall. Mokona sucks up great big gulps of water and expels them rapidly to make little rainbows from the spray, something which delights both it and Syaoran no end. Fai watches them with a faint smile from his perch atop a large jutting boulder, while Kurogane wades in deep enough to completely submerge himself, before surfacing again and wiping sooty strands of hair from his face. 

“Kuro-sama looks good when he's wet!” Fai calls out through cupped hands, loud enough to ensure that everyone within earshot can hear. Syaoran colours a little and gives a nervous chuckle, but Mokona immediately pipes in.

“Kuro-daddy sure has a nice figure, doesn't he Fai-mommy?” It bounces on the water's surface like a skipping stone and lands on Kurogane's head with a happy squeal. “Ne, ne?”

“Of course I do,” Kurogane replies evenly. It isn't exactly the response Fai had hoped for, and he's a tad disappointed. But then Kurogane continues, “It's because I eat fluffy pests like these,” and here he grabs hold of Mokona, eliciting a squealing giggle, “for breakfast!” And with a swift motion he dunks the little creature. A moment later Mokona pops up again like a cork, all laughter and buoyant cheer. 

“Again! Again, Kuro-puu!” Mokona cheers, and Kurogane obliges more than happily. Fai watches their antics, watches as Syaoran laughs hard enough to bring tears to his eyes, and then stretches out on his boulder. Sometimes, it's nice to find a world where there is still laughter to be had. 

\-----

He supposes the years have been kind to them both. After all, they had spent the entirety of Kurogane's remaining years together, and for that he is grateful. He knows that for much of his life he'd had nothing to look forward to until the other man had come along; had peeled and cored him like an apple before devouring him whole. And with the years, he had gradually come to terms with Kurogane's insistent push-pull, had come to welcome it and even crave it.

Fai smiles wryly at that. Kurogane hadn't been the only pushy one. Every time they'd come back to Nihon, he had been bullied and coerced into honesty and openness. Tomoyo is nothing if not persistent, and the lessons she had struggled to get Kurogane to learn, she taught to Fai as well. He supposes that is why he loves her so dearly, because no matter how far they journeyed or to how many worlds, there was always a place and people to come home to. 

For Kurogane, Nihon had been home because it was where Tomoyo was, and no matter how many years passed, he had remained unfailingly loyal to her. To Fai, it is home because it's where Kurogane is, and always will be; if not in body, then at least in memory. In the end though, it hardly matters anymore one way or another. Even if he hadn't chosen Nihon and its people as his home, he would still have followed Kurogane here no matter how deplorable or galling he found it.

Fai kneels beside Kurogane and places a hand on Kurogane's chest. He struggles to wrap his mind around the fact that the ox-strong heart beneath no longer beats. He remembers the sound of it clearly, remembers that he'd always pressed his ear to it as the other man had slept and imagines for a moment that he can feel the familiar tha-thump beating rhythmically against the soft skin of his palm. But the moment passes, and Kurogane's heart remains still. 

\----- 

The first time they share a bed is in a country where a never-ending rain falls. Fai doesn't like this world, mostly because the rain reminds him of another place and another time, but also because the incessant pitter-pat of water seems to sink into his very bones, like a bad case of arthritis. 

It is late on the night of their third day here, with Fai still wide awake and listening to the hateful sounds of the driving rain, that Kurogane shifts and sits up, pads over to his bed and throws back the covers. “What are you doing?” Fai wonders aloud, suddenly annoyed for no real reason. 

“What does it look like?” Kurogane replies scathingly, before climbing in and drawing Fai close with his real arm. Fai thinks about trying to object, but Kurogane is warm and solid against his back, his arm is wrapped firmly around Fai's waist even as his breath ghosts the shell of Fai's left ear. “Go to sleep,” Kurogane tells him quietly.

And despite the rain and against all inhibitions, Fai does just that.

\----- 

He finds it funny that even in death, and despite looking peaceful, there is still a terrible scowl on Kurogane's face. It seems to him that not even Nihon's deathgods could persuade the man to go into the afterlife with a smile, and Fai has to press his fist against his mouth to keep a giggle from bubbling up. He imagines Kurogane's spirit, or ghost or whatever they call it here, would be none too pleased to find him laughing at his corpse. 

It takes a while for the giggling fit to pass, and though Fai manages not to laugh out loud, he has a hard time trying to keep quiet. He knows that should someone hear him, it will be taken as a sign of grave disrespect, and so he tries his best not to let his laughter overtake him. He also knows that if he lets the laughter get out of control, he might never get it to stop again. Nihon is a country of solemn customs, and he has learned the hard way over the years that in Nihon, solemnity and dignity are as highly prized as the finest jewels. 

Eventually, the laughter dies, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth and an ache in his chest. Fai leans forward then, from where he kneels beside Kurogane's body, and plants a lingering kiss at the corner of his mouth. Kurogane had never been openly affectionate; had, in fact, been quite insistent on refusing to participate in public displays of affection. But they're alone now, and wherever Kurogane is right now, Fai is sure he won't mind one last goodbye kiss. It won't be long in any case, he knows, before his time is also up. They are bound together after all. Fai just hopes that fate; that Yuuko's enigmatic Hitsuzen, will be kind enough to allow him to follow wherever Kurogane leads.

\----- 

They are watching the annual fireworks from the rooftop of Shirasagi castle. Tomoyo and her sister, as well as Souma had declined Fai's offer of coming with, stating that they preferred to watch from the courtyard. Kurogane had been very vocal about his opinion that the three of them were up to no good again, until Amaterasu-sama had asked him in that uniquely mild tone of voice she possessed, whether he would prefer watching fireworks from behind the bars of a cell. Kurogane hadn't said anything more after that. 

The breeze is nice and cool, and Fai feels light-headed from too much sake and the proximity of the man next to him. Kurogane stares up at the sky with an expression of poignant wonder, and Fai wishes desperately that he could freeze time so that the moment will never pass. But he can't, and so instead he commits the sight to memory, engraves it with the utmost care in the farthest recesses of his mind where it will never fade. 

“Like what you see?” Kurogane asks suddenly, and Fai's eyes widen a moment. He'd forgotten just how finely the man's senses were tuned. But then he gives a quiet chuckle, because this is Kurogane and Kurogane is a ninja after all, through and through. Fai pulls his knees up, careful not to let his yukata show too much skin, and rests his arms on them. 

“Hmm,” he murmurs noncommittally, giving Kurogane a small smile. Kurogane looks at him then, and grins in a way that makes Fai's heart beat out a furious tattoo against the confines of his chest before he leans over and tips Fai's chin up and kisses him thoroughly. When they break apart, Fai feels as though every inch of him has turned to melted butter, and Kurogane looks inordinately pleased with himself. 

“I thought you didn't like kissing me in public, Kuro-rin,” Fai breathes, trying to hide the stutter-catch in his voice. 

“We're not in public now,” Kurogane whispers huskily and presses closer, and Fai can't keep the silly, contented grin he feels forming from stealing over his face. 

“Kuro-pii is exceptionally obtuse when it comes to his own reasoning,” Fai murmurs happily as he lets himself be laid down against the cool shale of the castle roof. Above him, Kurogane grunts, though whether in acknowledgement or dismissal Fai isn't sure. But then they're kissing again, and whatever thoughts he had of reason fly out the window on the sweet summer breeze.  



End file.
